But I too feel more Team Jacob at the moment. Which team are we all on? I’ve always been Team Edward by default. Jen: Melissa, you raise an important question. Melissa: I wasn’t sure if my ’60s feminism should feel insulted by Bella having to beg for sex, or if I just wanted to shout, “This is why everyone’s on Team Jacob, you cold fish!”
Jen: No, it was pretty in a Travel Channel kind of way.
Melissa: I mean, I loved the moonlit swim.
#Breaking dawn part 1 soundtrack album cover movie#
One who saw this movie might believe that babies were conceived entirely by crushing headboards. But I expected more action than what I saw in Madonna videos circa 1992. I understand they removed the “thrusting” but they also removed all evidence of behavior in which thrusting might be needed. Beg! For the sex! However, Alice has packed you lots of trashy lingerie. Monica:: Not only that, but you have to beg for the sex. Melissa: I told you, there is so much to discuss. HotBot was the best. Anyhoo, let’s back up a second. Melissa: I forgot that Yahoo! was even a search engine. Monica: The plot point where Edward used Yahoo! to search for symptoms of Bella’s pregnancy. Jen: Talking wolves? Or talking wolves that sound like they are underwater and speaking through kazoos, I should say? Monica: But we expected that plot point! Do you know what plot point I did not expect, however? Melissa: “.By Encouraging Pedophilia.” Seriously, can we discuss how strange a plot point that was? Jen: “Dances With Wolves Who Got Stella’s Groove Back While in Innerspace With Fabio and Rosemary’s Baby.” Monica: Maybe it was “How Stella Got Her Wolves to Back Up Her Scary Pregnancy.” I thought it was “How Stella Got Her Groove Back with Rosemary’s Baby.” Monica: Melissa, are you saying it was “Innerspace” with Fabio? Melissa: That’s why I think it was campy-perfect. In some of the wolf scenes, I definitely saw Zardoz. Monica: Correct! That is exactly what we did! Did we go to the movies or to some alternate universe where nearly grown men fall in love with babies? It might have been a dream, prompted by Jacob’s dreamcatcher, which makes a cameo. Monica: I’m not even sure that what we just saw was a movie. Jen: Let’s start with a basic question: Was this film campy-good, campy-bad or campy-I-don’t-even-know-how-to-categorize it? For now, come with us on a journey in which we compare “Breaking Dawn” to “Innerspace” and offer our thanks for Anna Kendrick. If you want to continue this dialogue after reading the transcript below, please join all three of us for a “Twilight” live discussion today at 1 p.m. And - warning - it’s also filled with spoilers. Our conversation is as free-flowing as the blood that certain “Twilight” protagonists must drink. Which is why we three ladies - The Post’s resident Celebritologist Jen Chaney, Style writer and Web Hostess Monica Hesse and BlogPoster Melissa Bell - captured our instant reactions to the film via instant-messaging after screening “ Breaking Dawn” earlier this week. Yes, reacting to this film is complicated. If you’ve already seen it, you may have concluded that it’s one or all of the following: the weirdest “Twilight” movie you’ve ever seen, the one with the most blood (and therefore the best), a semi-satisfying consummation of the Edward-Bella relationship, at least an hour longer than it needed to be and destined to sweep this year’s Razzie Awards. The heavily hyped “ The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1” opened last night in theaters.
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